Of Coaches (I wish I originally titled this, “Of Coaches and Love”)

(UPDATE:  A grammar school friend, whose sister was influenced by the individual described in this post caught a mistake that I made in a sentence at the bottom of the post.  I forgot a word that did not convey my meaning correctly.  Thank you to an old friend.)

Greetings:

This is a dangerous post to write, but my thoughts about the death of Joe Paterno and the widespread disappointment/anger associated with his firing motivate me to put words to screen.

I never met Mr. Paterno.  I have known about him since my high school days of playing football in Massachusetts during the late 60s and early 70s.  Certainly since moving to Pennsylvania eight years ago, I have learned much more about him and the love for him throughout the state and beyond.

Love.  That is the key emotion in this tragedy.  Mr. Paterno developed lasting relationships and taught extraordinary values.  Ideal athleticism, strong academics, loyalty to your institution were expectations he pursued and people revered.  People from all walks of life loved him.

Just as I loved my coach.

I also loved a man who stood for exactly what Mr. Paterno believed.  So did hundreds of other young men and women who experienced a relationship with Mr. Bill Rodan of Lynnfield, Massachusetts.  No different, and I am sure that there are hundreds (thousands?) of other teachers and coaches around the country who also equaled Mr. Paterno’s commitment and dedication — lesser known, but similarly loved.

So, we can all understand the deep, gut-wrenching loss felt at his passing, and the anger that accompanied his firing.  Times have changed since 1968.  In 1967, Mr. Huntress did not shower with the freshman team after practice, but I do remember that the varsity coaches at the high school (grades 10-12) did openly shower with the older boys.  It was a different time, and the world had not yet acknowledged as readily the risks existing when certain men (or women) were allowed to be dangerously close to young people.  I was 15, 16, and 17.  I did not think much about the open showers.

For this reason, I can understand that an older man might be not in tune with these risks, just as I understand Mr. Paterno and others noted.

Still, over the last few days since the news that he did not have much longer to live, I have thought about my love for Bill Rodan.  He is 78, now.  I have not talked to him since, perhaps 1998 or 1999, when we caught up over a 5 hour lunch.  How would I have reacted if I learned the facts that have come out about the scandal at the University?  Would I absolve him of all blame given what he did for me and so many others?  Would I abandon him because he did not do more?  Would I forgive him for doing something that perhaps, in the end, was deemed insufficient?

Honestly, I do not know because these events did not happen to him.  I have to fall back on my personal value system, much of which developed with his help.  Among other important virtues, he taught us never to quit; consider your heart when you must decide; sports are simply a precursor to life, nothing more; that dedication and diligence and self-reliance should always carry the day.

So, my conclusion.  I would continue to love Mr. Rodan if accused of the events and fired in the same manner and under the same circumstances.  Nevertheless, I would suffer tremendous disappointment, because he let people down in a manner that I believe he would never have taught.

Can I love a man as much as I did my father and simultaneously feel disappointment (I think there is a better word than disappointment…sadness….betrayed?) and understand that punishment likely was necessary?  I think so.

For these reasons,  the polarization around this incident troubles me.  I do wonder if others who also experienced extraordinary love and care from their coaches or teachers scratch their head.  I understand the loyalty given Mr. Paterno.  What I do not understand is the argument that as a leader he should not (UPDATE: an old friend caught my typo — I forgot the word, “not”!)  have been held accountable.

Mr. Rodan would want me to think this way.

Sincerely,

Michael

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